8.9.2020 | AN EPIPHANY ON WHAT I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING ALL ALONG
As I make my son fall asleep, a lot of thoughts have been running in my head.
And it all boils down to this, there’s lots of things that I want to, but my ultimate fulfillment would be to able to write. Everyday. Not for anyone. But for myself.
These words are begging to burst out of me... that if I don’t express them, I feel llke I’m going to die... inside. I don’t want to bury my thoughts any longer.
I don’t want to lose my voice. This time, my desire is to be heard.
I’m not an eloquent speaker. But I know that I am an eloquent writer.
And if there’s one thing that I’m good at and what I would love to do every. single. day. That would just be writing.
All this time, I’m chasing shiny objects when I should’ve been doing this ONE THING.
This is my Domino Effect. If I just focus on doing this one thing every day, I know it’ll make a difference.
No more hesitating. No more stuttering. No more holding back. I’m a force to reckon with. I’m unstoppable.
And this gift of writing, I owe to two most important persons in my life - my mom and Jesus Christ. If not for both of you, I would have long spiralled down and treaded the path to darkness. But your amazing love is faithful and always pulled me back to the light.
I don’t know how long I’ll live or how much time do I have left. But I want my life to make a difference. First to my son and my husband. And to give back to my siblings and see them to their feet. And to make my mom proud of me - that all her effort were not in vain.
I wish for my life to not go to waste. I hope for God to fulfill the purpose He has willed for me. I’m a broken vessel, but in the Hands of the Potter, I’ll be made whole again.
I’m on my way to wholeness. My Jesus, thank you for loving me unconditionally. Your love overflows. May this supernatural love pour out to people around me that they may see that without you, their life means nothing. And through you, their lives will be made complete.
“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 1:6 NIV
“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.”
Acts 20:24 NIV